The first few weeks of breastfeeding Bernie were very draining for me. I was constantly worried that he wasn’t getting enough, taking any unsatisfied looks from him personally and feeling isolated due to the long nursing sessions. I started taking Bernie for daily walks in my neighborhood within days of getting home from the hospital so at three weeks, I thought we could make it three miles around Green Lake without having to stop.   Although I was occasionally pumping, I had not prepared a bottle for this walk and instead fed him before we left and figured I’d feed him again as soon as we got home.  Bernie lasted one mile around the lake before he decided to make me and everyone around us know that he was hungry.  My mother-in-law was along for the walk. Had I been alone, I would have hid behind a tree, but she encouraged me to nurse him on a bench along the trail.

I had never breastfed in public and I wasn’t comfortable with the idea.  I wasn’t sure I could actually do it.  As I fussed nervously with my scarf to properly hide myself, Bernie just placed his legs around my leg, turned his head and latched on without me having to do anything. It was a big turning point for me. In that moment, I realized that we were doing alright and breastfeeding will continue to go well because I’m not in this alone. Bernie is as determined as I am to make it work.